The other person may not be prepared to give a definitive affirmation of undying love and fidelity.If that’s the case, don’t assume complete rejection. Sometimes when people feel pressure to respond, they get flustered.It’s too vague to ask, “So what’s happening with this relationship? Chances are you want to know if you’ve crossed the boundary from “going out informally” to “dating exclusively.” If you feel ready to stop dating other people, that is an appropriate time to ask if your partner is ready to do the same. Probing each other’s feelings can be intense, so be careful about when and where you talk.
To make yourself a better partner, think about your past relationships.
Other times you really like someone and it doesn’t work out, and you’ve probably wondered if there was anything you could’ve done differently.
Be prepared to listen to your partner’s reply and to discuss it. If you find yourself arguing for more than your partner is ready to give, you are pushing too hard. Their mind and emotions start spinning too fast for words to make sense.
Take the pressure off by suggesting some time to think it over and a follow-up discussion. We’ve all grown accustomed to watching TV news shows and seeing a “crawler” scroll across the bottom of the screen with stock reports, sports scores, and weather alerts.
So on one summer evening, with a picnic dinner spread out on a blanket, Greg popped the question—not the marriage question, but the all-important dating question: “Where do we stand with each other?
” Greg really got nervous when Gina looked away, gathering her thoughts and measuring her response.
Relationships do not come equipped with a nonstop monitoring device like that.
So it is appropriate to periodically check in with your partner.
This involves questions such as, “Are we ‘just friends’ or more than that?