Kids play an important role in the success of dating after divorce so it's important to be attentive to their reactions as a new partner is introduced to the family system.This is not to say they should be in control of a parent's dating life, nor empowered to dictate their needs over a parent's social life.* Is living in a Blended Family or a Stepfamily “more than you bargained for?
Emphasize your continued unconditional love and commitment to them and always follow through on promises about “alone” time and other family and social obligations. Once kids have been introduced to the new love interest, limit time you and your partner spend with them as a group.
Gradually increase time together as your partner and kids get to know each other and feel more comfortable around each other.
If your new partner has kids they will also appreciate a slow transition towards togetherness.
Resist plunging into a busy instant family mode where everyone is always together and the kids are forced to spend time with each other. Be sure to spend regular “alone” time with your kids, without your new partner, to affirm to the kids that they are still very important to you.
* Is the tension and conflict taking its toll on your relationships * Are you becoming worried about your children and their well-being?
* Are you constantly arguing with your partner about the kids, discipline and parenting in general?In contentious child custody cases, you may want to think of yourself as being under an unfair microscope.I use the word unfair because far too often every single action you take will be unfairly judged by your spouse or your spouse’s lawyer and may even be presented to the court as evidence that you are not acting in the I use the term microscope because it is not unusual for parents to keep a watchful eye on the other parent in the hope of catching him or her in actions that can be used in court during the child custody proceeding.Kids who become attached quickly and intensely to new dating friends feel a deep loss when they leave, even if you consider them superficial relationships.Constant break ups are confusing and upsetting for any kid, so be sure the new person in your life is there for the long haul before introducing your kids. When you feel a relationship is solid and it's time to involve the kids, make the introduction casual, friendly and informal, preferably somewhere fun for the kids, such as a pizza place or a park.Time spent exclusively focused on them reduces their anxiety around being displaced as well as jealousy around another important person taking time and attention.